Information, insight, and inspiration for people going through divorce from the Divorce Doc, Alison Patton

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

I have a friend, a woman who is smart and talented, one of the nicest persons I know. She was divorced a few years ago. Whenever I see her, whether it’s the two of us over coffee, or at a larger gathering, she is still talking about her divorce and the latest chapter in the saga. Her husband had an affair, he has a girlfriend now, he doesn’t always stick to the parenting schedule, Read More »

I am guest blogging today at Motherlode, Lisa Belkin’s blog on The New York Times. It is a post about parenting and how expectations for your children are similar to those you may feel for your spouse. Check it out on Motherlode.

In yesterday’s New York Times parenting blog, Motherlode, the question was asked by editor Lisa Belkin:

“Is it possible to have an amicable—truly amicable—divorce?

Today I read all 33 of the Motherlode reader comments, many of which express doubt that an “amicable divorce” is possible. I understand the doubt as well as the readers’ frustrations with the divorce system. I’ve seen these problems myself. Nonetheless, as someone who has been involved in amicable divorces professionally, I can attest they do exist.

Many of the amicable divorces I handled did not involve children, which made it considerably easier Read More »

I frequently hear that the most difficult part of divorce is the ongoing parenting relationship. At the end of a marriage, the normal desire is to minimize or end contact (at least temporarily) so one can grieve the loss. When children are in the picture, this isn’t an option. Divorced parents are required to have regular contact, which is like pouring salt in a wound. Joint custody–while generally good for the children–is often a challenge to the parents’ inner peace and emotional balance.

Some time ago, I read a funny and inspiring real-life story in the newspaper. A husband and wife were Read More »

Having a bad day? Watch this video.

Sometimes we can’t see the bigger picture when we’re in the middle of a crisis like divorce. I love this video because it reminds us that even when we feel the most alone, the whole world is out there waiting for us to rejoin it when we are ready.