Is Your Ex Worse Than Charlie Sheen? –A Discussion of High-Conflict People in Divorce

(As originally published on Huffington Post Divorce, March 2, 2011 Headline Article by Alison Patton)

Charlie Sheen keeps telling us he’s special, but is he really that unique? We’ve read volumes about the king of custody battles, Alec Baldwin. We’ve followed the ranting of Mel Gibson, most recently from recorded tapes leaked by his ex-girlfriend during their child support battle.

And now we have Charlie Sheen’s grandiose statements as he fights with CBS executives over his sitcom, Two and a Half Men. As CBS takes steps to “divorce” Sheen from his TV role, Sheen is quoted as saying: “[We’re] definitely at war. The Read More »

An Expert Weighs In on Forgiveness

A heated debate took place last month on Huffington Post. The subject was forgiveness of your ex after divorce. Blogger Erica Manfred claimed that “moving on” is all that’s necessary and you don’t have to forgive your ex. Her arguments are well-written and persuasive, but I disagree with her opinion and decided to interview an expert on forgiveness. I posted the expert’s perspective, as well as my own, in my post today for Huffington Post Divorce. For the full article (as well as the link to Manfred’s article), click on this hyperlink. If you Read More »

I’m Blogging for Huffington Post Divorce

A very nice thing has happened–I’ve been accepted as a blogger for Huffington Post Divorce section. So now you can find my work on Lemonade Divorce and also on Huffington Post (called “HuffPost Divorce” for short). I will regularly post links here, on Lemonade Divorce, to my Huffpost Divorce articles so they are easy to access.

If you’d like to sign up to receive new posts and articles as they come out, scroll down to the bottom of this home page and click under “RSS Links.” This will notify you anytime I add posts or material to Lemonade Divorce Read More »

If (Rudyard Kipling)

This poem is a wonderful mantra for living your life with truth, integrity and wisdom.  I’ve always felt that if the very last line read:  “And – which is more – you’ll be a success in your divorce,” this poem would be the perfect summary of what it takes to get through divorce without losing your focus.

In the third stanza, it talks of risking all your winnings on “one turn of pitch-and-toss.” This is so like marriage.  We put all our eggs in one basket and we sometimes lose this bet we’ve made, but as Kipling says, “start again at your Read More »

What Do You Really Want in 2011?

I’m a big believer in New Year’s resolutions. Every January, my friend Lorraine and I spend a day together making our list of what we’d like to see happen in the new year. We pull out last year’s resolutions, check items off, carry forward what isn’t complete, and add to the list for the year ahead. There is something very powerful about writing down intentions and discussing them with someone who knows you well, which is why I think this system has worked all these years for both of us.

During our annual pow-wow this year, “Mother Teresa” came up—not the real Read More »

Last night, as I was sleeping (Machado)

Introduction from Alison:

Spanish poet Antonio Machado lost his beloved wife at a young age and went into a state of deep grief. When he finally began to recover from this loss, he wrote this beautiful poem about the re-birth of his soul and his heart.

I have witnessed this re-birth in people who have gone through divorce, which is why I share this with you. I hope it will give you hope and strength during those dark nights of the soul. (My thanks to speaker/poet David Whyte for introducing me to this poem.)

One note about the translation of this poem from Spanish Read More »

Surviving the Holidays

photo by Theresa Thompson

The child in me will always love the holidays. I take such pleasure in traditions–hanging our outdoor lights, getting the tree, retrieving the Christmas boxes from the attic, spending one night of Hanukkah with friends.

Along with the glitz and magic, however, comes the reality that holidays are hard on everyone, divorced or not. I remember my father, a psychiatrist, being called away in the middle of many a Christmas dinner to tend to a patient’s suicide attempt or depression. He told me once that everyone “goes the most crazy” during the holidays.

Holidays are Read More »

Huffington Post Launches Section on Divorce

They are calling it HuffPost Divorce and I’ve checked it out. I like the feel of it already. It will have articles, information and commentaries on a variety of issues related to divorce. I love what Arianna Huffington wrote in her post: “I’ve always thought that, as a country, we do a lousy job of addressing how we can do divorce differently — and better. Especially when there are children involved.” I couldn’t agree with her more. It’s very exciting to see more people—particularly women such as Arianna Huffington and Nora Ephron who have an enormous Read More »