Author Archives: Alison Patton

The Path to Healing

By Alison Patton | Published: September 30, 2010

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” – Eleanor Roosevelt I have a friend, a woman who is smart and talented, one of the nicest persons I know. She was divorced a few years ago. Whenever I see her, whether it’s the two of us over coffee, or at a […]

I’m Guest Blogging Today

By Alison Patton | Published: August 25, 2010

I am guest blogging today at Motherlode, Lisa Belkin’s blog on The New York Times. It is a post about parenting and how expectations for your children are similar to those you may feel for your spouse. Check it out on Motherlode.

The Amicable Divorce: Is it possible?

By Alison Patton | Published: July 27, 2010

In yesterday’s New York Times parenting blog, Motherlode, the question was asked by editor Lisa Belkin: “Is it possible to have an amicable—truly amicable—divorce? Today I read all 33 of the Motherlode reader comments, many of which express doubt that an “amicable divorce” is possible. I understand the doubt as well as the readers’ frustrations […]

The Show Must Go On

By Alison Patton | Published: June 10, 2010

I frequently hear that the most difficult part of divorce is the ongoing parenting relationship. At the end of a marriage, the normal desire is to minimize or end contact (at least temporarily) so one can grieve the loss. When children are in the picture, this isn’t an option. Divorced parents are required to have […]

All you need is love

By Alison Patton | Published: April 25, 2010

Having a bad day? Watch this video. Sometimes we can’t see the bigger picture when we’re in the middle of a crisis like divorce. I love this video because it reminds us that even when we feel the most alone, the whole world is out there waiting for us to rejoin it when we are […]

The Journey (Mary Oliver)

By Alison Patton | Published: March 21, 2010

Introduction from Alison: This poem is about letting go, for the many people who have contemplated divorce for a long time and have finally made their decision, or those who are about to make their decision to really go through with it. It acknowledges the conflicting feelings and opinions of others that one might face […]

Love After Love (Derek Walcott)

By Alison Patton | Published: March 21, 2010

Introduction from Alison: Many people, especially after being in a marriage for many years, have trouble recognizing themselves outside their role as a spouse and have a hard time adapting after a separation. This poem is a reminder of the idea of individual self – a look into the process of reacquaintance with yourself and […]

In Times of Great Pain

By Alison Patton | Published: February 24, 2010

Today I write with a heavy heart, because two persons I love very much are separating. They have three young children and feel as if their world has imploded. Every time I think about them, I feel a profound sadness wash over me as if for a brief moment I am living their lives. It […]